


Beautiful Wolf

by ThanhXuan



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M, Romance, Supernatural - Freeform, Wolf AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 21:21:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6394312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThanhXuan/pseuds/ThanhXuan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wolves are told to be wild and dangerous, animals that most people should fear. But Hyukjae can't help being fascinated by these imposing creatures, and most particularly by one blue-eyed wolf. Something about him keeps drawing him in – something almost human.</p><p>“ Man is not man, but a wolf to those he does not know. ”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**“** Rain. Wood. Mud. Humans.

There was nothing the huge animal couldn't notice as he ran through the wide forest, feeling the heavy drops of rain fall on his soaked fur. Snaking in and out between the tall trees, all his senses were on the look-out as he made an effort to push even harder on the muscles of his strong legs. He was running at an incredibly fast speed, even for a beast of his stature and of his young age. His paws were hitting the dirty ground of the forest without the slightest noise, only the low and menacing grunts leaving his muzzle indicated about his presence to the other small creatures present.

He wasn't thinking about anything. Only his wild instinct was guiding him through the woodland. His thoughts were only a row of blurry and incoherent images, those that were simple enough for an animal like him to comprehend. He could only grasp that the trees and the vegetation surrounding him were familiar, the clear chirping of the numerous birds calming his wild nerves. Soon, he slowed down in his tracks, throwing his head back as he let out a long and loud howl into the dark night. Almost immediately, a similar yowl answered his own, giving his position. It was faint, but clear enough for the animal to speed up again toward the sound.

 

The wolf somehow knew he was drawing closer and closer to one of the mates of his pack, but when he made a wild jump to avoid a bunch of terrified bunnies on his way, something made him stop dead in his tracks. Frozen, he whipped his head around and sniffled, his unusually blue orbs looking for the source of the strong scent that had reached his nostrils. It was an odd combination of perfumes that his lupine head couldn't name, but it was simply hypnotizing. And _human_. The young wolf made hesitant steps, hearing but not listening another distant howl of his pack-mate as he let out a curious bark. His ears fluttered as his long tail waved from left to right, his paws taking one step at a time as he carefully walked toward the intoxicating scent. He sniffled again, his instinct screaming at him how dangerous it could be but he kept moving still.

 

The wolf probably saw before he could smell it. He stopped just behind the border of his forest, hiding by the reassuring shadows of the trees. In front of him, at a few long jumps from his current position, was a high construction that was almost as tall as the trees surrounding him. What was left of his human brain while he remained to be a wolf whispered to him that it was a _house._ He could almost picture himself, properly standing on two legs without his warm and smooth, dark fur recovering his skin, walking in a building similar to this one.

However, his current capacities didn't allow him to comprehend more than he could, and all he _could_ feel at this moment was curiosity. The _house_ was painted in a bright color, one of the few that wolves could recognize because of their intensity ; _blue_. His lupine eyes blinked, lifting his muzzle in the air as he sniffled again.

Then, he finally smelled it. It was stronger and clearer than earlier, and it almost made him let out a whine as he was tempted to come closer. His survival instinct instructed him not to move and instead he continued to observe thoroughly. And smelled. It was as if he couldn't stop inhaling more and more of this incredible smell, making him dizzy in relaxation and genuine pleasure. It was almost if he wasn't purring with contentment. The wolf didn't have the notion of time as he eventually let himself fall down on his tummy, resting his chin on his forward legs and ignoring his duties as a wolf of an actual pack. The scent seemed to be everywhere around him, surrounding and prudently envelopping him as if to lull him to a peaceful slumber soothed with delicious fragrances.

Then, as another howl, this time sounding angrier, hollered him, a small human – surely a kid – walked out of the _house._ Immediately, the wolf jumped on his feet, his ears flickering back into a menacing posture. He let out a snarl, his eyes glaring at the human.

The human didn't make any move to hurt him, though. The animal heard him let out a surprise squeal upon noticing the imposing wolf before their eyes met silently, stumbling backward. A pregnant pause fell between the two of them as they eyeballed each other. The kid then made a careful step forward, as if he wanted to come closer to him, extending a curious hand to touch him. Although all his senses were screaming at him to run away from this threat, the wolf stayed in place, almost taunting the human to walk closer to him. He was almost there, his short legs making childish steps until he was close enough for the wolf to make one sole jump and tackle him.

 

Suddenly, a fourth howl resonated in the forest behind him, so loud and menacing that all the birds flew away with scared tweeters. The wolf's attention snapped, a feeling of fear spreading through his system as he faintly felt that the alpha of his pack was angry, furious even, at him, the clear order binding him to come back. He glanced at the kid, before he whipped around and ran as fast as he could to reach his mates.

 

 

 

It was time for hunting. **”**


	2. Chapter 2

The wolf was told to never approach the house again; the alpha of the pack had angrily scolded him with menacing snarls and growls, making him lower his head down in fear and submission. He tried really hard to obey to the direct orders, doing his best to avoid the path that led to the small human's house and anything that could remind him of him. Days went by throughout which all he filled his mind with was hunting and mates and forest. Wolves were animals, nothing more and nothing less – they weren't supposed to get close to humans because those were evil and dangerous creatures; they could hurt, and they could kill. Humans were their biggest threat.

Yet, a week after their first odd encounter, the dark wolf came back. He shouldn’t have, and he perfectly knew it; two parts of his mind were furiously battling one against another, actively trying to get him to decide between obediently obeying the orders or letting free will to his want. It was already dark and the night was as cold as a November day should be. A shiver ran along his spine as he scrutinized the night. Carefully coming nearer the _house_ which now strangely looked familiar in his lupine mind, he stopped at the edge of the backyard, hidden behind the tall trees like the very first time he had came. It was silent, almost peaceful yet nerve-wrecking as the wolf stared at the blue _house_ with a mixture of reluctance and impatience. The animal stood there on his four legs, not daring to sit down in case a danger would suddenly appear. Minutes, then hours slowly went by as the weather got awfully chiller, the wind furiously playing with his thick fur. Although he didn't have a proper notion of time, the wolf knew he had to go back to his pack mates soon. And the smell still wasn’t there. The _kid_ still wasn’t there.

Confused and frustrated, he let out a grunt, glancing back at the familiar darkness of the woods every once and then.

But then, as he was about to turn around and run away from the _house_ , the kid _finally_ appeared, stepping out on the deck. Time seemed to stop abruptly as their eyes came in contact. Only the rueful sound of the wind could be heard as they stilled, meters away from each other. Again, they stared at each other, as if continuing their silent first contact, a few nights before. The small human then tilted his head to the side as he sat down at the edge of the deck, childishly swaying his legs while intensely staring into the animal's eyes.

Despite his prior reluctance and suspicion toward the kid, the wolf never dared to break the odd contact the both of them held. Keeping his senses on alert, he finally sat there, on the ground at the edge of the wood at the backyard of the _house_ , staring back at the boy.

 

Here, everything smelled so much more wonderful than in the woods.

 

=

 

The wolf was the kid's secret. It was something only he knew about. And that was exactly the way he wanted it to be; the wolf was his, and only his. Every night, whenever his parents wouldn't pay attention at him anymore, the single-lidded eyed boy sneaked outside to stand at his usual spot on the deck, shivering when the piercing cold hit him. There would be a short moment of anticipation and nervousness upon which he would wonder whether the wolf was there or not, if he would appear like he had the night before, and the night before and all the nights prior those ones, waiting for him as it always did. And then he would find it, at the always same spot behind the trees, partially hidden into the dark shadows. Relief would wash over the kid as he sits down on the deck, staring at the animal and admiring the deep and unusual blue of his orbs.

As much as the situation was dangerous, the kid was too young and naive to understand that the wolf could simply make a swift jump and rip his head off within the short span of two seconds.

However, he was never afraid because the wolf was one of his friends, and he didn't fear his friends.

 

*

 

It took a few years for the kid to realize that the wolf never came as soon as the cold seasons ended. The first time his friend hadn't came, he had been utterly disappointed, almost waiting throughout the whole night until his parents ushered him back inside. He had waited and waited, slowly going through summer and then autumn, wondering if his friend didn't want to see him anymore. This thought made him upset and sad, close to tear up with frustration at the sudden gap he could feel in his heart without their secret meetings in the garden. The wolf was his best friend and best friends never left each other.

 

His best friend came back a day of early November however, as the boy decided for the last time to come back on the deck and wait, thinking that if the wolf didn't came that day then he would never do so again ; a familiar shadow suddenly appeared behind the line of trees. He snapped his head up, his eyes hopeful and excited, until he let out a happy squeal upon recognizing the blue eyes of the animal.

 

His friend was back.

 

*

 

Now the kid knew better than to vainly wait during the warm seasons for someone who wouldn't come at all. They only met during late autumn and winter, but that was okay. Because the wolf was his friend and his secret.

 

 

 

* * *

 

Now that Hyukjae had successfully managed to go through the long year throughout which he had hit puberty, he was mildly satisfied to claim that his rebellious phase was behind him; although a part of him was rather delighted to have more freedom and power over his own life since his parents believed he could behave on his own, he still secretly missed the glorious days of his youth when he would sneak out of his house only to piss his parents off. However, now that he was a proud university student, Hyukjae felt too old – although he was barely twenty-one – and lazy to do all those sorts of crazy things anymore. He highly preferred the calm of his home and the sweet company of the TV and his computer. Moreover, his parents had grown so indifferent about him and what he did with his life that all the fun he usually earned of it was now ruined; the lack of risks made it quite less thrilling now that he was able to do whatever he wanted whenever he decided so. As long as he didn't come home completely drunk or kill someone.

Yes – rebellious or not, Hyukjae definitely appreciated the small perks of a student's life.

As if to emphasize this point, Hyukjae stared blankly at the ceiling of his room, sprawled on his bed in such a manner that one could think the brunette would never want to get up again. He was lethargically laying across the mattress of his large bed, his phone forgotten next to his head while his mind seemed to have completely shut down. He could have stayed here forever, he distantly noted in his head, and be proud of the laziness that unmistakably came with age – although he _was_ only twenty-one.

However, the student _did_ get up shortly after despite his obvious reluctance, heaving a lazy sigh as he glanced out at the windows. There weren't much days left until it would be November, Hyukjae noted as he watched the tall trees he could distinguish behind the dusty panes; the branches were frozen while all the leaves had already fell on the ground and died. It wasn't a particularly happy sight to witness and Hyukjae would usually have let out a depressed groan, but even after all those years a familiar feeling of excitement spread in him as he got nearer to the window. He looked at the dark woods, letting his mind wander around as he wondered when it – _he_ would finally appear. Although the weather was definitely one of winter, his _friend_ didn't come to see him yet, despite all the times Hyukjae sat on his usual spot on the deck, snuggling into warm blankets.

Letting out a disappointed grunt, the brunette carelessly ruffled his hair before he grabbed his backpack and went out of his bedroom before going down the stairs to the kitchen. As usual, the house was empty; his parents were too busy working at the other side of the small town to even wait for their son and take breakfast – or brunch, judging by the clock wall – together like a family. Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Hyukjae pushed those dark thoughts to the back of his mind as he settled down on a stool of the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of milk in the fridge. Directly sipping from the bottle, the brunette propped one of his elbows on the main counter fitted in the center of the room. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he unlocked the screen of the device and scrolled through his received text message without truly looking at them, only enjoying the end of his morning; it was a Thursday, the only day of the week when he could fully relish into doing _nothing_.

His status as one of the best students of his university didn't come from nothing; Hyukjae was hardworking and studious enough to know when to work and when to relax. And Thurdays mornings were _relax mornings_. All he usually did was aimlessly wander around his house with his phone or simply sleep until it was time to go to class, which only started in a few hours – two and half, to be exact – and that was the way he liked. Moreover, he was a perfect student at doing it, so who was to complain?

Absentmindedly humming under his breath, Hyukjae's gaze landed once again on the forest surrounding the back of the house. It was as dark and mysterious as it had always been, making him curious about what kind of secrets were held behind this natural border, but not enough to risk the many dangers he knew were hidden within.

All he truly wanted, he realized after reflection, was to know where his wolf was. Hyukjae could remember the many childish dreams he once had about the big animal – that one day, miraculously, the wolf would transform into an actual human and they would became best friends. He had wished for it so much as a kid that the glow of hope was still somewhere in his mind – but Hyukjae knew how ridiculous it was to wish for this kind of impossible thing to happen. It only was a dream, something that only would happen with something akin to a miracle. Although, it still didn’t stop him to wonder what the wolf exactly did during the warm seasons – where did he go? Why? With who?

Hyukjae had never heard of or seen the wolf’s packmates. He wasn’t sure that the animal had some. He could only remember seeing a menacing grey she-wolf wander around the house a year ago, until it disappeared with a silent but threatening snarl. Hyukjae was only thankful he had stayed inside instead of going out to greet the wolf as he would have done if it had been his wolf.

It was with a small snort that Hyukjae unconsciously noted the difference he made between his wolf who he referred as a _he_ while the she-wolf was only a _it_. Shaking his head in disbelief, the student threw the empty bottle in the nearby trashcan before he glanced at his watch and grabbed his backpack. Although he still had around a hour before having to be at the university, he decided that staying at the house any longer would drive him insane – he could always go to the library, after all.

Exhaling with a shudder upon stepping out of his warm home, Hyukjae unceremoniously slammed the door shut behind him and locked it, before he lazily made his way toward the nearest bus stop.

He lived in a small town of Korea, somewhere famous enough so that some Seoul citizens would spend their vacations there but not so for foreigners to know about it. Here, everybody knew everybody, even if it only was through gossips. And gossips, there were a lot. Sometimes Hyukjae wished he was living in a bigger city like Seoul where everything seemed to be awake at any time of the day and that nobody would ever get bored. But small towns like the one he was living in assured him calm and conviviality; in a way, they were all friends bounded thanks to a strange friendship that already linked their own parents together. It wasn't as bad as it sounded, but mostly because he was already used to it.

However, the fact that he basically knew everybody and therefore was forced to greet everybody even in his worst days made it sometime quite difficult to appreciate; for example, he didn't feel friendly enough to smile back at Heejun's enthusiastic wave who was strolling around with her evil dog (it had bit him at least four times).

The only real friend that would understand his mood, Hyukjae realized as he sat down on the bench of the bus station, was his wolf. Or “friend” between quotation marks because he still wasn’t sure if befriending with an animal was actually humanly possible. On happy days, the animal would sit down and stare at him with his big, bright blue eyes while his tail would softly sway from left to right – when the brunette felt too awful and frustrated, he would lay down, staring up at him with what looked like comforting, warm orbs. It made Hyukjae feel safe and almost loved.

Hee glanced a last time at the dark trees he could vaguely distinguish behind his house.

_I hope he will come around tonight..._ He let out a small sigh before getting on the bus.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Donghae glared at the window, securely wrapped within thick and warm duvets. Snuggled up in the bottom of the armchair, the charismatic teenager tightened the grip he had on the covers around him, a long and uncomfortable shiver coursing through his shuddering body. Although he had put on all the heaters of the house, it seemed as if the cold was piercing through his every limb, making it difficult for him to even walk around without having his teeth chattering. It was the worst time of the year for Donghae; the season when it was cold enough for his body to violently convulse and be on the edge of a painful changing but warm enough to keep Donghae as _Donghae_. He was stuck in middle of both worlds, his sanity too weak yet too strong to definitely be dragged into one – at least until the cold seasons were over.

The teenager sometime wondered whether he preferred warm seasons or cold ones. There was humanity one the one hand, and freedom on the other one. However, walking on his two feet and running through the forest on four legs weren't comparable and he had to admit that both situation were pretty incredible. He simply wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing. However, being stuck in the middle of both wasn't exactly enjoyable either.

As another long shiver ran along Donghae's spine, the latter let out a frustrated sigh while staring out the window. The forest encircling the house looked sad and almost dead, all leaves fallen and the bark of the trunks frozen with cold. If he was bound to go back to the woods by the night, it probably wouldn't be worth it to stay at home and mourn alone, Donghae decided. After finally letting go of the amazing warmth of his duvets, the raven haired teenager hurried himself to the entrance of the house, faintly hearing cheerful chattering at the second floor; only the youngest ones had enough willpower to choose by themselves of their situation during winters. Pushing his slight jealousy aside, he tightly covered himself into a thick coat, securely wrapping a scarf around his neck as he carefully opened the door and stepped out.

Coldness pierced him from everywhere. It made him grunt and whine and shudder with every step and breathe as he forced himself to move forward and not immediately go back and hide inside. Donghae was practically sure it was his last day with enough will and mental strength to fight the cold. This _torturous_ cold.

Determined, he almost ran to the car, hiding himself inside as he hurriedly turned the ignition and the heater on. If he was quick, he would be able to take a stop at the town and go back home before the sun would set. The house was at about twenty minutes away from the center of the town, far enough so people wouldn't make the effort to come and near enough so they could go and come back within a hour.

 

Thankfully, it wasn’t long before he reached the center of the town, carefully driving until he parked the car at the village square. Furrowing his eyebrows as he glared at the dull sky, he turned the ignition off and experimentally opened the door of the vehicle, gritting his teeth together as another horrible shudder took him. With much courage, Donghae finally got out of the car, tightening his coat around his shivering body. After locking the car, the blue-eyed boy let out a grunt and hurried himself to hide in the nearest shop, keeping his head low and burying it into his thick scarf. Without even looking at where he was going, Donghae stepped on the sidewalk and made anxious and quick steps, apologizing when he accidentally bumped against a woman of his age, until he finally took refuge into a warm and welcoming shop just in front of where he had parked the car. It was with a relieved and thankful sigh that Donghae welcomed the delicious warmth that engulfed him upon going in – he fluttered his eyes shut, a soft, relaxed grin playing on his lips as he slowed his walking pace; he could have stayed there all day, just under the wonderful invention that were heaters. When the shivers stopped, the brunette looked up to watch his surroundings – it was a wide library, almost empty at this hour of the day. Blinking a little in disbelief, Donghae walked further in with mild interest; reading wouldn’t be his first preoccupation during winter. However, as he glanced at a row of fictional romans, he knew that he didn’t have the heart to go out and brave the cold again. He preferred staying here, even if it meant looking at books that he wouldn’t be able to read until next spring.

Donghae had loved reading as much as he could potentially remember his childhood – fictions, romans, comic-books; everything was fine as long as it held his interest. He could recall the way he used to nag Leeteuk to buy him a new book, and then another one and another one; and he always got them because Leeteuk couldn’t resist him more than a few hours – or minutes, really.

It made him smile a little as he picked a random hardcover, absentmindedly reading its synopsis. His mind wandered around quickly, his sharp eyes noticing any kind of movements around him while his supersensitive nose detected all the fragrances lingering in the shop. Scrunching his nose in disgust at a too strong perfume, Donghae put the book back down before lazily strolling through the library; his senses were always more heightened than usual as winter approached. Although it could come to be handy in most situations, there were times when the raven haired boy would have preferred not to have this skill – he could see, hear, smell, sense everything around him, from the sales assistant who was giving advices to a couple of pensioners to the little girl who was crying outside.

Deciding that it was best to ignore all the distraction those could ensue, Donghae continued to wander around the shelves of book. Sometimes running his fingers along the covers of some of them, he let out a resigned sigh. He would miss reading for the next few months. But, he inwardly grumbled, it wasn’t because he wouldn’t be able to do it now that he couldn’t do so later on. _Next year_ , a voice whispered in his head. _Until next year_. With a stubborn huff, Donghae grabbed a book he had read the synopsis of on a famous website and headed towards the cashier. He gave a polite nod at the woman standing behind the counter, ignoring her curious gaze on him. Tapping his fingers on the polished surface of the piece of furniture, he waited for her to tell him the price of the book. He was about to go out and find a nice, warm coffee shop somewhere after paying her when the girl suddenly spoke up.

 

“Are you a foreigner?” She bluntly asked. Donghae posed his intense, blue gaze on her, making her blush slightly; she was pretty, dark-haired with a cute face and bright eyes. “I mean, you have really beautiful eyes, and I thought –”

 

“I’m English,” He swiftly lied as he leaned against the counter. He darkly chuckled at her stupidity as a fake flirtatious smirk slowly spread on his lips. “From London, actually. My mother is Korean though.”

 

“Oh that’s why,” She giggled. “My name is Minsoon. And you are?”

 

_Nobody you need to know_ , he was about to reply until the door opened, letting a cold breeze rush inside the library. However, it wasn’t what made him snap his head up, immediately forgetting about the pretty cashier; it was the delicious and familiar scent that suddenly hit his nose, making him feel as if somehow had just knocked him out.

_Smell. Good. Him._

Widening his eyes a little as they abruptly darkened in need to smell more of this intoxicating fragrance, Donghae slowly turned around on his heels, his heart erratically pounding in his chest. And he wasn’t disappointed; there he was, the “kid” of the house, standing at the entrance of the library while looking around him for something of his interest before walking further in.

_Oh fuck_ , Donghae inwardly cursed as his eyes fluttered close against his will. A soft whine threatened to escape his lips as he automatically took a step forward in the intention of following him. The cashier tried to talk to him again but only earned a hard glare in return as Donghae’s lupine instinct slowly took over him; how dare she disturb him when he was so immersed into this blissful scent? It was a wonderful mixture of spices and strawberry with a subtle hint of wood, probably because of how close he lived to the forest. He took another quick step, swiftly avoiding some people on his way until he was close enough to reach a hand and grip on his arm.

_Yes. Closer. Smell._

His whole body was violently shaking, almost convulsing while his pupils were dilated and almost completely dark. _I want_ , a low and menacing voice growled into his mind. The sweet fragrance was truly intoxicating, arising wild scenarios of ownership where Donghae would be able to trap him and keep his rare perfume for him only. He wanted the “kid”, he wanted the scent and he just wanted _everything_. As his lips dangerously curled up over his teeth into a possessive snarl, a sudden flash of humanity lightened in his head when a small child bumped into his leg. Freezing on the spot, Donghae snapped his head down and stared at the kid, who squeaked in fright, before he widened his eyes in shock and fear.

_This isn’t good_. Donghae difficultly gulped as he slowly lifted his head up, watching the source of his fragrance disappear behind a high shelf before he took an experimental step backward. Inhaling sharply, he counted to three before rushing out of the shop and to his car.

 

Donghae drove with his eyes furiously fixed on the road before him, his fingers painfully curled around the old steering wheel of his car. The vehicle was racing on the almost empty roads of the town as if he was desperately looking for an escape. His heart was erratically pounding in his chest as he let out a low growl at his own stupidity; he had been too reckless to think that going to the town was a good idea. It was Thursday after all, the only day when the “kid” had his morning free. Donghae should have known that there were many chances that they could somehow bump into each other.

He really couldn’t afford that, and for more reasons than only one ; there were no doubts that _he_ would have immediately associated him with his other self, the one he wasn’t supposed to know about – the lupine part of him that he had vowed to keep hidden as a secret to anybody who wasn’t in the same situation as his. Donghae’s eyes were the key of his secret; his dark, deeply blue eyes were so distinctive that the kid would have definitely recognized him somehow. Or at least have some suspicions about him. And suspicions were already too much.

The idea of the “kid” knowing about his real identity made Donghae painfully clench his teeth as he harshly stepped on the pedal and took an abrupt turn at the intersection.

Humans couldn’t know about their lots. Not only because they would think of them as nutters, but also because they were dangerous for them; whether it was intentional or not, humans were probably the most evil creatures people like Donghae could encounter. Maybe they were only trying to protect themselves, or perhaps it only was sheer curiosity; either way, their weapons could torture and kill in the worst ways possible.

Donghae knew that he took a huge risk every time he dared approaching the blue house. The kid obviously wasn’t a kid anymore – he probably was as old as he was, judging by his height. Old enough to forget about his genuine liking for the furry friend who came every night to his house – old enough to _hurt_.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

It was already dark when Hyukjae finally came home after his classes. Seated at the back of the only bus of the town, he was blankly staring out at the dirty window while waiting to reach his bus stop. Only a teenage couple were also riding the vehicle, breaking the silence by softly talking at a few rows of seats in front of him while tenderly holding hands. Hyukjae silently gazed at them for a moment, trying to remember the last time he had an actual relationship with someone he truly liked – a really long time indeed. Sighing a little as the cheap light of the bus gave him a slight headache, he closed his eyes and tried with a soft grunt to ease the pain away from his temples; he was completely knackered. It had been a long day for him, after all; after his few classes at the university, Hyukjae had went to study at the library of the university with his best friend Kyuhyun. They hadn’t talked much, if not saying at all, and worked on their respective essays and thesis instead. None of them had took notice of the time running by until the librarian ushered them outside, threateningly flapping a ruler around while her high-pitched voice resonated through the whole library.

Hugging his backpack on his lap, Hyukjae leaned his head against the window, hoping for the bus to quickly reach his stop. All he truly wanted at this moment was to take a long and nice, hot bath before make himself a fuming cup of hot chocolate to wait for his wolf to come; hopefully, luck would be by his side tonight. As stupid as it could have sound, it was those small moments of calm he shared with the animal that really relaxed him. Even if it was cold and that he was wasting precious hours of sleep, Hyukjae felt comfortable and at ease, as if he was spilling out all his problems to an old friend.

Finally, before he could wonder if the wolf really was a friend for him, the vehicle slowed down to a stop. Letting out a tired yawn, he got up and waved to the driver before he stepped down and immediately shivered. The night was even chillier than it had been the day before. Looking up at the sky, Hyukjae scrutinized the cloudy and dark sky. He wouldn’t be surprised if it snowed soon. Pulling his coat tighter around him, he buried his face into his scarf and hurried himself to walk back home. The dim light of the street lamp helped him to find his way back to his house through the subtle fog. The cold was biting his limbs as he walked over a frosty red leaf which crunched nicely beneath the heel of his shoe. Then, as he took a short turn at the end of a small street of his neighborhood, a small and white snowflake landed on his right cheek. Glancing up at the sky once again and unconsciously slowing down his walking pace, Hyukjae realized without much surprise that it had just started to snow. Thousands of what looked like cold and white cotton started to fall on the streets and roads, softly landing on the grounds and houses, and on his clothes. He curled his fingers into a tight fists to try warming his hands as mist flew out of his nose every time he exhaled.

After what seemed like a never-ending walk, Hyukjae finally reached the front-yard of his house. He opened the front door with a relieved sigh, stepping inside and shivering as warmth enveloped him. He eagerly took of his coat and shoes before flinging his backpack on the couch of the living-room, uncaring of the possible stains it could do. His parents weren’t there again, he noticed as he went in the bathroom and didn’t bother locking the door – it had already been a week since they last saw each other and although he liked to believe he was fine, Hyukjae missed them. He let out a small sigh and stepped in the shower cubicle, willing his tensed muscles to ease under the comforting heat of water as he felt himself relax.

 

Half a hour later, Hyukjae was fumbling around the kitchen, glancing at the courtyard every once and then. Nibbling on his lower lip, he impatiently tapped on the shiny surface of the counter while waiting for his hot chocolate to be done. Staring at the cup, he released a small appreciative grunt when the micro-waved finally let out a sharp sound, signaling his drink was finished. He grabbed a nearby bottle of whipped cream and generously spread it on top of his fuming cup before adding marshmallow on top. Then he carefully put the mug on a small saucer and picked thick blankets with his other hand before he opened the glass door. The cold immediately made him grit his teeth together as he stopped himself from running back inside. He sat on the edge of the deck, putting the folded blankets next to him as he took a first sip of his drink, gladly welcoming the hot liquid spreading through his body. Carefully holding it with two hands on his lap, Hyukjae scrutinized the edge of the wood, intensely looking for any sorts of a familiar and impressive figure of an animal. His whole attention was on the look-out, his eyes quickly getting use to the mysterious darkness behind the natural barrier that were the tall trees. He saw bunnies and birds, sometime a wild cat running by but no wolf. Furrowing his eyebrows into a frown, Hyukjae took another gulp of his hot chocolate. _It’s snowing, though_ , he thought with disappointment. _It’s cold enough for him to come, isn't it ?_

Hyukjae had waited and hoped too hard for him to come that night. He ruffled his hair in frustration, glaring at the trees before he let himself fall on his back onto the hard surface of the deck. Staring at the stars in the sky, he sniffed in disappointment, oddly feeling upset. He had so much on his heart lately that he had hoped for his encounter with the wolf to wash everything away ; he wanted to forget about the absence of his parents, about the stressful exams he had to go through in a few months. He wanted to erase from his mind the question of his approaching future and his wish to go to Seoul although he was still scared to leave his home. Pillowing his head with his arms, he fluttered his eyes close, letting his mind wander around freely. About everything. And it gave him a headache. The past, the present and what held the future; a career? Love?

He grunted unhappily as he remembered the shy wave a classmate of his had made in his direction during Mathematics class. It had been a few weeks since Hyukjae suspected her to have a crush on him, if all the smiles and hints for something more than a vague friendship were any indications, but today Kyuhyun had confirmed his suspicion just after they were kicked out of the library. Hyukjae really didn’t need that though; he didn’t have neither the time nor the heart to deal with girls or boys and relationships. He had homework and exams in a few months and they just didn’t seem enough. And it just wasn’t _right_ , somehow. As if going out with this girl, or anyone else, wasn’t what he truly looked for. _But what is?_ He wondered as a rough wave of cold wind hit him. Hyukjae didn’t know what he wanted, except his wolf. He didn’t know what he wanted about his future, his career or the person he wanted to share his life with. He didn’t even know what he wanted to right now since his friend wasn’t there. So he closed his eyes more firmly, and tried to erase everything.

Slowly, a pair of warm and comforting blue eyes appeared beneath his eyelids while his mind drifted into a deep slumber.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

It had been a while since the wolf had ran through the woods. It felt great and exhilarating as if he was free again. The cold was there but not strong enough to pierce through his thick coat of fur. He lifted his huge muzzle and watched around him, his sharp eyes quickly taking in his surroundings and his mates pacing around him. He flopped down on his rear, his tail slowly swaying from left to right as he threw his head back and let out a long howl at the moon, making all the birds around fly away chirping. A grey she-wolf at his right happily yapped and started yowling as well before rubbing her warm side against his flank. The blue-eyed wolf stared down at her, sniffing a little and grunting at her familiar scent. After nudging her aside with a small look, he got back on his four legs and lazily strolled away from his pack. The she-wolf tried to follow him with a whine but immediately dropped her head in submission when the other one menacingly growled at her. Then, when he made sure that he was alone, the dark-furred wolf started running through the wood. His paws were almost mutely hitting the ground as his muzzle released low growls, mist flowing out of his nostrils. Cold snowflakes were falling on his fur and on the fallen leaves on the ground, which was covered by a small coat of whiteness. His imprints of his paws were visible on the snow, leaving a trail behind him as he kept on running.

Then as he jumped over a fallen trunk, the familiar scent he had been looking for finally reached his nostrils. A small whine forming in throat, the wolf pushed harder in his back legs as he tried to go faster. The smell was so strong just like in his blurry memories. His lupine brain vaguely remembered encountering the same intoxicating fragrance earlier the same day, somewhere in the human world. However, the wolf didn’t bother wondering what happened afterward and only focused on his current urges and wants. And what he wanted was to see the human. Grunting once again, the huge animal finally came to a stop when he reached a familiar path. As snow slowly covered his dark fur with white, he prudently made his way through the wood until the _house_ came in view. Lowering his head down until it almost touched his front legs, he kept on showing a menacing posture until he stopped at the edge of the courtyard. His blue eyes swept around the empty patch of frozen grass until they landed on the bright _house_. Then, hidden behind the tall trees, the wolf finally saw it. _Him_. The human.

He was just next to the _house_. His legs and paws dangling in space as his back was laying down; it seemed like he was sleeping. And his scent was just _so much_. The wolf fluttered his eyes shut for a fraction of second before he scrutinized the human, tilting his head to the side. Wasn’t the human cold, sleeping outside while it was snowing like this?

The animal was about to flop down on his belly and immerse himself into the delicious fragrance when a sugary smell reached his nostrils, blending with the human’s one. He growled indignantly, glaring at the human who had dared once again bring another flavor to mix with his own fragrance. Usually the wolf would grunt unhappily until the human would somehow make disappear the sugary smell and mercifully let him fully savor his perfume. However, tonight the human was sleeping which probably meant that this offending sugary smell wouldn’t go away. The animal briefly thought about going back to his mates and hunt a little but he wanted so much to stay and enjoy the human’s scent – so much he decided to go nearer. It had been too long since he had had the chance to smell it – he just _couldn’t_. The wolf knew he was doing an enormous mistake, and that he could die and that everything could come an end. But, the kid was sleeping and he looked so peaceful that – the wolf stopped thinking. It was no use. He _wanted_ , and that was all that truly mattered at this specific moment.

Despite the fact that his instinct was screaming at him to back off, the wolf prudently stepped a first leg inside the forever forbidden territory of the human. It was the very first time he dared doing this and adrenaline gave him shivers of apprehension and anticipation at the same time. All his senses on the look-out, he stared at the sleeping form and took another step, not foolish enough to make any wrong moves and awake him. The distance between the edge of the wood and the human looked like an interminable path until the animal was finally close enough to nuzzle his nose against the human’s leg. It felt and smelled good. The wolf swiftly jumped on the deck and rounded around the sleeping figure. He curiously nudged his hand and his head, his breath halting in fear whenever he stirred in his sleep. Feeling oddly at ease, the animal flopped down once again on his belly just next to the human, fluttering his eyes close as the scent was stronger. With a short sway of his tail, he sent the white mug and its sugary stench off the deck and grunted proudly. It felt as if he was in paradise, all his senses appeased by the wonderful and hypnotizing perfume that was emanating from the human. He felt like he was somehow drowning in a sea of delicious fragrances lulling him into a peaceful slumber.

The wolf didn’t know how long he stayed there, almost purring next to a potentially dangerous threat for him and his packmates. However, it didn’t stop him to peacefully shift between reality and sleep several times as his mind was lulled by the human’s slow breathing and his delicious fragrance. He was somewhere he couldn’t name, but somewhere he would have happily stayed at. Everything was so warm and smelled so wonderful and the human was so close. He was supposed to fear him, to take out on the first opportunity and run but – but it was the _kid_. The reason seemed to be good enough at this point.

He was tempted to stay and think about consequences later when a sudden sound coming from the _house_ made him snap his head up in alarm. Whipping around, his eyes looked for the origin of the sound and prudently backed away until he was off on the snowed ground again. Faint sounds of voice reached his ears and he immediately ducked his head down in fear and wariness. After a short look of longing toward the human, the wolf finally listened to his primal instinct and instantly ran off, disappearing without a single sound back into the wood.


End file.
